Titus
Titus is living in a man's world, with a man's name. Her idols are all brooding P.I.s of the past: Philip Marlowe. Jake Gittes. Angela Lansbury. Ever since she was a girl, Titus dreamed of opening a private detective agency, rooting out injustice, and becoming the state-licensed maverick sleuth she was always meant to be. Now she's living that dream with her best friend Dronicus and poised to solve her first high-profile murder case.
Dronicus
Dronicus is a devoted friend. He isn't in the private dick game for the dead bodies or the broken hearts; he just loves helping people. If Titus wants to open her own private detective agency and solve a murder (any murder), far be it from Dronicus to not help in any way he can. Aside from P.I. work, Dronicus enjoys farmer's markets, watercoloring, and reality TV. His twin sister drowned in a shipwreck.
ophelia
Ophelia's the dame, plain and simple. She's got a semi-famous boyfriend who talks to himself, writes screenplays (ad nauseum), and ignores her completely. Are they even dating at this point? Hard to tell. Does she trust Titus and Dronicus to figure out what's the matter with him? Not really, no. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hamlet
The recently-orphaned son of a late, great film producer is as gloomy as a rainy beach in February. Lately he's been acting strange, yammering about ghosts, writing rambling, autobiographical scripts about fratricide, and picking fights with drapery. Is the crown prince of Hollywood off his rocker, or does he know more about his famous father's death than he's letting on?
Laertes
Ophelia's big brother and a hothead. The only thing this Ivy League-educated bundle of nerve endings loves more than a good fencing match is lecturing his sister about her sex life. If ever there was a man easier to set off than Hamlet, he's it. Is LA big enough for the two of them?
Claudius
In the wake of his successful brother's death, Claudius found religion. He also found the top job at a multi-billion dollar film empire and a happy marriage to his late brother's wife, all in less than a month. He's like Scar, from the Lion King.